Rich and Ellen Bellamente of Mantua were visited Paris for the wedding of their friend's daughter when coordinated attacks rocked the city. This Thanksgiving, they say they're grateful for what they have.
MANTUA -- It was supposed to be a joyous occasion.
Rich and Ellen Bellamente had gone to Paris for the wedding of their friend's daughter. The bride had grown up in New Jersey, eventually joining a law firm in Paris. The ceremony was scheduled for Saturday, Nov. 14.
Rich and Ellen Bellamente, of Mantua, on Place des Pyramides in Paris. They were dining in a Paris restaurant on Nov. 13, 2015 when terror attacks took place around the city. (photo provided)Going abroad with old friends would be a once in a lifetime trip. Bellamente, who retired as director of community affairs at the former Underwood Hospital in 2010, had "run out of excuses" not to go to Paris with his wife. On the evening of Nov. 13, they had dinner at a restaurant in the first arrondissement.
Two weeks later, they're preparing for a Thanksgiving made all the more meaningful by the horror they avoided.
Around 9 p.m. on Nov. 13, the Bellamentes saw a stream of police cars speed past the restaurant where they'd spent the evening. As they got into a cab back to their hotel, they were a little more than a mile from the Bataclan, the music venue where dozens of people had just been shot and more were being taken hostage. By the next morning, 130 people were dead from attacks that had taken place in various locations throughout the city. More than 300 others were injured.
"We couldn't hear anything," Bellamente said Tuesday. "In a city, there's a dynamic noise all around you."
When the couple got back to their hotel and got online, the Bellamentes received worried messages from their daughters back in the United States. They spent the next few hours watching BBC reports, suddenly reminded of when they first heard news of the Sept. 11 attacks.
"We went to bed that night wondering when the other shoe was going to drop," Bellamente said. "We knew that these were unholy circumstances."
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The wedding was held the next day, just as planned.
"It was a muted experience," said Bellamente. "You knew that you were celebrating a special moment in the lives of two families. But at the same time you're recognizing that this gathering is taking place within 24 hours of a situation that was so horrific."
He added that the guests seemed to take comfort in having something to celebrate.
"In the darkest, gloomiest times, while we grieve, a part of us wants to be happy," he said. "When we're enveloped in sorrow, the humanity in us wants to step into the light -- wants to share joy, friendship, fellowship and food. Joy has a way of percolating up through grief and sadness."
Back at the hotel, using his limited French, Bellamente gave his best to his fellow guests.
"Je suis triste," he said, gesturing to his eyes.
The couple spent two more days in Paris after the wedding. Armed guards and law enforcement stood in every doorway, and public parks were completely off limits.
"Even those who didn't feel the blast or hear the explosion, the fact that this was their city and someone had done something so bad, I think it was the way we felt after Sept. 11," said Bellamente. "We were shocked, hurt, angry. There was a state of shock and disbelief."
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On the way back home, the Bellamentes had a layover at a London airport. There, they participated in a minute-long moment of silence.
"I've never heard an airport become so quiet you could hear a pin drop for a full 60 seconds," said Bellamente.
Bellamente read shortly after he came home that the U.S. State Department had issued an advisory warning Americans to limit their air travel until the end of February. While that, coupled with the events in Paris, has left him feeling vulnerable, he's hesitant to give up what he considers a right to live his life without fear.
"You've got to be careful, thankful and aware of what's going on in the world," he said. "You don't want to risk life and limb unnecessarily, but you have a responsibility to go about your daily activities."
He thanked the customs agents who met him at the Philadelphia airport. It was the first time they had received any words of gratitude, but considering the circumstances, the agents weren't surprised.
"We were thankful to be able to show our passports and get home in half an hour," Bellamente said. "What we think of as life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness find their way into the every day lives we lead. Let's be thankful for what we have, who we have and when we have it."
Andy Polhamus may be reached at apolhamus@njadvancemedia.com. Follow him on Twitter @ajpolhamus. Find the South Jersey Times on Facebook.
