Linda Williams, mother of Darius Boyer, will honor her late son's birthday by releasing balloons in an informal gathering before this Friday's homecoming game.
MONROE TWP. -- Linda Williams will face an unwelcome milestone this Friday.
It's the day that her son, Darius Boyer, would have turned 18. It's also the day he would have played his senior year homecoming game with the Williamstown High School football team.
"I've never done this before -- had to wake up and not be able to tell him happy birthday," she said. "When do the tears stop falling? When does your heart stop hurting? I don't have an answer for that. But I'm still here, and I'm still trying. We keep pushing. That's what we do."
Darius was fresh out of his junior year of high school when he drowned in early July. He was swimming with friends in Jackson Road Blue Hole, a former sand quarry on the edge of Monroe Township, in the middle of the afternoon when he disappeared beneath the water. At a vigil after his death, friends universally remembered the football player and wrestler as kind and friendly, with a contagious smile and a goofy, gentle sense of humor.
At 6:30 p.m. before Williamstown's homecoming game against Eastern High School this Friday, a handful of Darius' friends and family members will hold an informal gathering to release balloons from the field in honor of his birthday, and one of his best friends will perform an original song in his memory.
"We're offering an opportunity for the people closest to Darius to get together at the end zone for his birthday," said Williamstown High School Principal Jill DelConte. "It's about trying to get through this as a school community. We want to honor Darius respectfully, but in a timely, healthy manner."
Administrators, students and parents had a disagreement earlier in the season about whether to display Darius' jersey on the sidelines during games, Williams said. After a long talk between Williams and faculty along with other parents, however, it was agreed that Darius' jersey would stay on the field, hanging discreetly on a chair. More than once, the athletes have pulled inspiration from their teammate's memory, and Williamstown has come out on top in every game except one so far this year.
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"We're not asking anyone to mourn forever," Williams said. "But we also don't want to ask anyone to put a cap on how long they should mourn. They [Darius' friends] told me they used to get angry, they used to fight. But they don't anymore, because they lost something, and that woke them up."
In sending off the balloons before what would've been one of the most memorable games in Darius' high school athletic career, Williams hopes to send her son the birthday greeting she can't give him in person.
"I'm trying to send my love in another way," she said. "We're going to light up heaven with those balloons. It's the only thing we can do."
There are good days and bad days, Williams said. Sometimes she won't cry until something triggers a memory of Darius. Other days, even just getting to work seems impossible.
"If I ever saw a story about something happening to someone on the news, I'd always say, 'If that happened to my child, I would just die,'" she said. "I became one of those parents."
One new relationship that has helped is a newfound bond with one of the few people who knows what Williams is experiencing. She has found solace in talking to Michelle Harding, whose 10-year-old son Matthew McCloskey was killed by a police cruiser just after Christmas last year.
"People can say 'I lost my mom,' or 'I lost my dad,'" Williams said. "That pain is different. But to be able to talk to someone who actually can relate to you is different. She's been very supportive."
Support has also come from unexpected places. Occasionally, Williams has found out just how many people loved her son when she is approached by total strangers.
"The kids, my daughter and the kids in this school, have been my angels," said Williams. "There are days where kids I've never met reach out and tell me they knew him. I'm still learning things about how many people he touched. As a mother, I couldn't be more proud."
The acknowledgement of Darius' birthday will be held before the Williamstown homecoming came at 6:30 p.m. Friday evening at the Williamstown High School football field, 700 N. Tuckahoe Rd. There will be a short musical performance, and the game is scheduled for immediately after, at 7 p.m.
Andy Polhamus may be reached at apolhamus@njadvancemedia.com. Follow him on Twitter @ajpolhamus. Find the South Jersey Times on Facebook.